And this one kid Mark at the party who gave me this came out of nowhere and looked at the sky and told me to see the stars. So, I looked up, and we were in this giant dome like a glass snowball, and Mark said that the amazing white stars were really only holes in the black glass of the dome, and when you went to heaven, the glass broke away, and there was nothing but a whole sheet of star white, which is brighter than anything but doesn’t hurt your eyes. It was vast and open and thinly quiet, and I felt so small.
-the perks of being a wallflower. stephen chbos
Fear[less]
I’m scared of many things. I’m scared of eyes and heights and dogs and darkness. I’m scared of the airplanes we fly in, the cars we drive in, the streets we walk around. I’m scared of letting someone have my heart just to break it. I’m scared of being alone in case I can’t make it. I’m scared of many things. And I know I can’t have someone there to hold my hand along the way everyday. And I know I need to overcome these fears. When I’m in a car going just a smidge too fast, or a teensy bit too close to the other car’s bumper…when I’m in a plane that’s making one to many sounds..when I watch a movie with a few too many bad guys…or I walk down a road with one too many unhappy wandering eyes in my direction, my heart starts to race, my palms start to sweat, my breathing gets shallow and quick. I begin to panic, fearing the worst. I think I need to trust more in this world than what I do now. Because where I am now, I fully trust no one. Maybe if I let go of the fear of risks, I’ll be more open. But all I need is a hug to feel better. It may not seem like much, but to me, arms to hold make me feel safe. And when I’m scared of the world around me, those arms make a world of difference. If only I weren’t afraid to let those arms around me.
How important is it to love yourself in such a way that you don’t let others take that liberty of hurting you?
Why do people hurt themselves because of others? I guess people get upset or sad depending on other’s actions and not because of their own. Which leads me to another question – why are we dependent on others for our happiness?
Whenever you talk to people nowadays, their reason for being sad or depressed is because of another person. It’s nearly impossible to NOT let a person hurt you but the least we can do is respect our own feelings and not to take things too seriously and preferably not think too much about it – the ifs and the butsOnce upon a time Iused to cry over literally everything but now I have become a kind of person who doesn’t really care a damn even if people bitch about me. You won’t believe the number of ridiculous questions I have to face everyday . I react to these questions by just smiling and nodding. The one thing I have understood over the years is not to expect people to understand you ALL the time. Their outlook is different, so is yours & mine. I’ve found out that by telling these people what they want to hear or what they feel is right, you appease them and yourself too. In this way, I don’t hurt them and myself in the process….
I love myself too much to let people hurt me again. Maybe I have had enough, that’s why. In the end, people are all selfish!
i guess when it comes down to it, i’m afraid. i’m afraid of losing what i have, but i’m afraid
of the change that is to come. i’m afraid that i’m never going to let this go. i’m afraid i’ll never
let my true feelings show. i’m afraid everyone in the world is going to turn into you, and leave
me with the same pieces you did the first time.
